The Late Night Comedy Club

[Forrest Gump]

I don't understand people who need to take a dump. Why would you even think about taking a crap? Do you use a ladle and scoop it into a bag or do you quickly snatch it with your bare hands and place it in your pocket? Now what ? Do you save it? Do you put it in with the organics? Do you donate it? If you donate it please don't ever say you don't give a crap when actually you do. Hey , why not invent a new target game called crapshoot, fun for the whole family and sure to be a big hit with your stinkin neighbours. What are the chances of winning ? Who knows,It's a crapshoot. I just don't get it. My advice is next time you ask yourself ," hmm take it or leave it? Do yourself a favour and leave it. Then there's my doctor who wanted me to see him again last week but this time he wanted me to bring my stool. So I get there and the lady says have a seat. I said no thanks I brought my own stool, doctor's orders.

This has been produced by A-Paw-ling productions
And brought to you by the makers of Vitog and Pepto Abysmal

[SouthSardiswx]

Figures you'd find that Hound.

[SouthSardiswx]

don't sit on my stool Gumps.

[Hound]

Stool sample... lol

[Weather101]

Stool sample... lol

This made me laugh

[Hound]

Ya, it was pretty funny.
Yet no Sardine comment?

[Weather101]

Ya, it was pretty funny.
Yet no Sardine comment?

On a side note this girl told me " oh I'm pretty tall btw" so now I'm expecting like some lebron James women but na she ends up being 5"3. On what planet is 5"3 considered tall?

[Hound]

Not sure, but maybe her friends are shorter than HER! lol

[SouthSardiswx]

On a side note this girl told me " oh I'm pretty tall btw" so now I'm expecting like some lebron James women but na she ends up being 5"3. On what planet is 5"3 considered tall?

Mars.

[Weather101]

Not sure, but maybe her friends are shorter than HER! lol

That would be definitely interesting

[Forrest Gump]

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[SouthSardiswx]

[SouthSardiswx]

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[VanCitySouth]

Dunno if this counts as comedy, maybe parody, but I came across this brilliant archive of the best NWS discussions ever, and there is one absolute clear 100% winner:

FXUS64 KAMA 010946
AFDAMA

*AREA FORECAST DISCUSSION*
*NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE AMARILLO TX*
*346 AM CST TUE NOV 1 2005*
*
DISCUSSION*

IN THE SPIRIT OF THE EVENING...IT SEEMED SINGULARLY APPROPRIATE TO
DIP INTO THE /ALBEIT SEVERELY PARAPHRASED/ QUINTESSENCE OF THE AUTUMN
LITERARY VERNACULAR FOR THE FORECAST DISCUSSION OF THE MORNING.

WITH APOLOGIES TO EDGAR ALLAN *POE*...

ONCE UPON A MIDSHIFT DREARY, WHILE I PONDERED WEAK AND WEARY,
THE NUANCED ATMOSPHERIC REALM, THE WEATHER YET IN STORE,
MIDNIGHT TEMPERATURES WERE FALLING, SKIES WERE CLEARING, WIND WAS
STALLING,
FREEZING MARKS WERE ALL BUT CALLING, RAPPING AT THE OFFICE DOOR,
FURTIVE FREEZING MARKS WERE KNOCKING, TAPPING ON THE OFFICE DOOR;
ONLY THIS, AND NOTHING MORE.

UPPER RIDGING ON THE MORROW, DREAMS OF RAIN SHALL TURN TO SORROW,
LIFT AND MOISTURE LACKING BRING NO STORMS LIKE DAYS BEFORE,
SUBTLE BOUNDARIES IN LATE MORNING, AT AFTERNOON ARE SEEN ADJOURNING,
"CONVERGENT FLOW!" THEY SCREAMED, IN WARNING: PREMATURELY HOPES DID SOAR,
TROUGHING IN THE ROCKY LEE THEN SOUTHERN WINDS HEREIN RESTORE;
BOUNDARY GONE, FOREVERMORE.

MIDWEEK RECORDS NEARLY BREAKING, NATURE AUTUMN'S NORMS FORSAKING,
AUTUMN WARMTH UNLIKE THE AUTUMNS OF THE DAYS OF YORE;
BUT THE PLEASANT WARMTH INSPIRES GROWING THREAT OF WILDFIRES,
"FATE!" CRIED I, "O FATE! THE SHIRES OF THE PLAINS THY HAND DOTH GORE,
PITY A DRYING LAND THE SHIRES OF WHICH THY STEALTHY HAND DOTH GORE!"
QUOTH THE RAINFALL, "NEVERMORE!"

COMES A BOUNDARY SLOWLY DRIFTING FRIDAY, ONLY DRY AIR LIFTING,
DRIVEN SOUTHWARD BY A SYSTEM, TOO FAR NORTH WE FIND ITS CORE;
BUT LEE TROUGHING THEN RESUMING MONDAY NEXT SEEMS UNASSUMING,
SOUTHWESTERN SURFACE FLOW IS DOOMING DAYS TO REPEAT THOSE BEFORE,
DOWNWARD SLOPING WINDS REPEAT THE WARMING DAYS THAT CAME BEFORE,
BRINGING SOLACE NEVERMORE.

MODELS ON THE WHOLE AGREEING, PRECIPITATION WE'RE NOT SEEING,
POTENT SYSTEMS ABSENT MOVING ON THE LAND'S PACIFIC SHORE;
ZONAL FLOW IS DOMINATING, DRIER AIR KEEPS INFILTRATING,
LACK OF RAIN INFURIATING, "HELP US, NATURE!" WE IMPLORE;
WHEN WILL MOISTURE QUELL IMPENDING DROUGHT FROM HEREFORD TO LEFORS?
QUOTH THE RAINFALL, "NEVERMORE! (WELL, AT LEAST THROUGH DAY 7)"

$$

KRAMAR/COCKRELL

[Hound]

Wow, haha was that actually printed?